been coming home late lately
i just dont know why but somehow i just felt aggitated sitting at home.
you know sometimes when you sit at home rotting,
they come screaming into your ears.
when you study at home they scream, they turned on the tv out loud
when you go somewhere conducive to study they make even more noises.
then they bring up this issue,
"when i was you age, i already started working to support my family"
then another issue contradicts what they "WANTED"
i got a job, they went, "all i want you to do is study. is that so difficult?"
haha
tell me. i think im going insane if this continues.

partly its my fault that i come home late.
but hey! at least i still put in the effort to come back home.
then they say,
"if you're a boy its a different story, but you're a girl remember that"
okay. so now its a gender issue? like as if i had the choice to be a girl or a boy?!

when i tell you the truth you never wanna hear the truth from me.
you always push it back thinking that its impossible to happen cause you refuse to accept the fact.
When i lie you press me down hard for the truth which you know you wont get from me cause i know you WONT listen.
then you tell me,
"you're 18, i thought we can work well with you but no...."
*rolls eyes*
work with me but! you want it YOUR way.
haha. might as well i still remain the way i am cause eventually,
"AS LONG AS YOU'RE STILL NOT MARRIED I HAVE THE RIGHT TO DO ANYTHING TO YOU"


Being a teenager especially a teenage GIRL is an annoying chore that we have to sometimes face. They never trust you thinking that you're brainless and will end up like those kids out there. Not trying to say im THAT smart but seriously... i know my limits. Yes yes. you dont have to tell me that you're worried that i get hurt along the way. i know all that. but still.. haiz...


My abdomen hurts like fuck.
since yesterday. was at some competition over at boon lay and
the annoying thing was, my abdomen hurts like crazzy only when i was heading home. i swear i was tearing. it hurts like mad. Had him to send me home. i almost fell of coz i went blank along the way. reached home in 20 mins. imagine from boon lay to tamp in 20 mins and i was suffering the whole journey. he said i should go for a check up. he said i should tell mom. but im just to afraid that its something bad. not the 1st time im having this. its like for the 4th time. the 1st time it happened mom said it wass normal. then she got nervous when it happened for the 2nd and 3rd time. but everytime when we had the intension of visiting the doctor it went back to normal. until yesterday as im typing this entry it hurts like crazy.

woke up today got a huge lecture for waking up at 12. FOR GOODNESS SAKE! I WOKE UP AT 8AM la! but its okay. i'd rather not bother her anymore. i rather die than trouble anyone anymore. its just annoying when they start blamming you for being a nusiance in the family.

Life is though. they always say,
"its part of the growing up thing. everybody goes through the same ordeal."
haha. so yarh. make it end fast?? please?
make it stop.

i dont need you in mylife.
i dont need them in mylife.
i'd rather be alone and suffer this shit on my own.
so stop poking your nosy noses into my life.
i dont need anyone. NOT EVEN YOU!